Tired of your sub-par candidates pandering for your votes by evoking 80s nostalgia? Not enough confirmed adulterers in your presidential field?
Well, look no further! Instead of an 80s throwback, you can nominate a genuine 90s has-been for the bargain price of $30 million!
My goodness, this is getting ridiculous. Gingrich is apparently looking to step into the race since Fred Thompson is proving not to be the conservative saviour many thought he would be.
Is the G.O.P looking to make even greater laughingstocks of themselves. Are they not content with candidates fighting to claim Reagan's mantle and tripping over themselves to venerate Margaret Thatcher? Having exhausted nostalgia for the 80's they're now looking to Gingrich for -- what? To oppose Hilary and refight the 90's all over again? It would be over after the first question of the first debate:
Mr. Gingrich, would you explain to America how you justified publicly denouncing your opponent's huband's infidelities while you yourself were carrying on an affair?
Look, instead of flushing $30 mil down the crapper, I have a much better idea. If we can get pledges of just $10 million, I think could persuade John Bambenek to get in the race. You could have all of the bomb-throwing for 1/3 of the cost and an approimately equal chance of winning. And I'm assuming I'd get a nice cushy consulting portfolio, right??
By the way, it should be noted that 15 weeks out from the first primaries/caucuses, the G.O.P. isn't narrowing the field - it's expanding it. If nothing else tells you that the Democrats are headed for a 55% rout, this should.
So long permanent Republican majority! I hardly knew ye!
You could have all of the bomb-throwing for 1/3 of the cost and an approximately equal chance of winning.
Now that's a presidential debate that I'd watch!