More thoughts on Selkie's post

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I was just going to comment, but Papa-Lu wants a post, so quickly here's what I said when he told me about the article and after reading it for myself.

First, rules don't raise happy children. Studies show that juvenile delinquents come half from families that were neglectful and half from rigid families with all the rules. Also, breastfeeding will not guarantee a happy child or a fulfilled adult. I grew up in a Le Leche League house and boy could I tell you stories of some very freaky, angry, socially delinquent pepole- all breastfed or breastfeeding. Father Virtue makes this point in his book (which has not been read by a large number of the people who talk about it). He points out that hostility at the breast is more damaging than bottle feeding and that it is possible to nurture a child fully using a bottle, if the situation requires it.

Anyway, another response I had to the post is that a disordered attachment to the rules leads to a blatant disregard for the human person, evidenced in a lack of compassion and empathy. An attitude which Selkie's post pegged perfectly, not only in its competitiveness and tendency to blame people for their own problems, but also in its datedness, out of step with the modern world and with modern theology as found in JPII.

Finally, when it comes to parenting I sympathize with the people who feel the need for rules. Children have a way of making a person feel like a faliure and rules provide security. However, my current reading and thinking leads me to say that normal children will grow up to be normal people if their parents do the best they can and trust their instincts. Only special situations require special rules and systems.

Oh, I would also like to add that I used to fit the rules person description perfectly down to the matilla, scapular and bad attitude and have turned into a happy, fulfilled URP married to an URP and raising little people who can make up their own minds.

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Bravissma, signora, although I would nuance the "modern theology" bit. But then I'm an eternally dissatisfied nitpicker.

"...down to the ma[n]tilla, scapular, and bad attitude...."

Oddly enough, Mama-Lu, you did strike me as that type before I got to know you. :-P Did it ever occur to any mantilla-wearing types to have different colors for the liturgical seasons, or would that have smacked of disobedience in the matter of ordaining women?

And what does the acronym URP stand for?


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This page contains a single entry by Mama-Lu published on July 17, 2005 5:22 PM.

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