September 2004 Archives

Bulging B-Euro-cracy

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Barenaked Comedy?

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Press Release


This is hilarious. Go Austin:

SEPTEMBER 29, 2004




For more information contact:
Mark Adams, 202-289-2500. 318-794-1170

"We are delighted once more to come under attack from "Catholics" for a Free Choice, that rollicking band of wealthy anti-Catholic pro-abortion bigots," said Austin Ruse, president of the Culture of Life Foundation.

"CFFC seeks nothing less than to silence public debate. In one fell swoop, using the Internal Revenue Service, CFFC is attempting to violate our First Amendment rights to free speech and religious practice," said Ruse.

"'Catholics' for a Free Choice was founded many years ago to undermine and silence the teaching of the Catholic Church on life issues," said Ruse. "CFFC's President Frances Kissling even told Mother Jones Magazine that she searched the whole world for a government to overthrow without landing in jail and found it in the Catholic Church."

The gist of CFFC's IRS complaint is that the Culture of Life Foundation violates federal law when it publicly supports the Catholic Church teaching that abortion is the number one issue facing Catholics in the voting booth.

"She also charges that I called John Kerry a bad Catholic. He is. And so is Frances Kissling," said Ruse.

"We will not be deterred by what is clearly the use of the federal government for the purposes of harassment. Given her record with things like this, it is likely she will be sanctioned for this waste of governmental time and money," said Ruse.

"Catholics" for a Free Choice has been condemned numerous times by the US Bishops for falsely using Catholic in their title.
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Liturgical Bloopers


Father Sibley points us to this post on LAMLand about liturgical bloopers.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. This is one of my favorite topics. Here's two of my favorites:

1) The wireless mic. One priest I was a Sacristan for (who shal remain nameless except that his name translated means "Fat Bald" told a story about a previous parish. He was saying Mass, and absolutely had to go to the bathroom. So during the readings he slipped out to the bathroom that was just past the Sacristy and proceeded to use it - WITH HIS MIC ON - while singing:

You must remember this
A piss is still a piss.

He returned to a white-faced congregation staring at him eyes wide and mouths agape.

2) Flaming altar-boy I heard this one straight from the pastor's mouth when I worked at the Catholic bookstore. During the Gospel reading at a Confirmation Mass (Bishop and everything), one of the altar boys was standing a wee bit too close to a torch and his surplice caught. Well, nobody around him noticed until somebody from the congregation pointed and yelled, "FIRE!" At which point the Bishop's Master of Ceremonies, turned around and pounded on the boy's arm and back to put the fire out. The MC turned around to find the Bishop giving him a "What is going on look," to which he responded with a reassuring nod of the head, "Just a small fire."

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One for the Missus

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Hey babe, check this one out. Feel free to comment. Link found at Fructus Ventris.

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You gotta be kidding me


Rodman on the comeback trail.

6 years ago he was an exceptional one and a half dimensional player. Give it up, yo.

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Catholic vote going for Bush


Link found on The Corner

President George W. Bush has suddenly acquired a commanding lead among Catholic voters over his Democratic rival, Sen. John Kerry, according to the latest survey of the California-based Barna Research Group.

Full story.

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Be our Protection


Today we celebrate the feast of the Archangels, notably Michael, "Prince of the Heavenly Host." Today we can recognize the evil present in the world, and rejoice because God has given us the grace to be free of it and the help of the angels in defeating it!

St. Michael, pray for us!
St. Gabriel, pray for us!
St. Raphael, pray for us!

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"How can this possibly be funny?"


I know this article's been making the rounds in blog-world. But I just have to link it.

Kerry Learning to Wield Humor As Weapon

If you've only seen excerpts, go read the whole article. But do it out loud. Trust me, it will be worth it. It reads like something straight out of The Onion. I read it out loud to Mama-Lu and she stopped me half way through to ask if it was a parody.

Take, for instance, this gem (remember, read it OUT LOUD):

Kerry isn't just using the lingo of the younger generation. He's thrown in a couple of old-fashioned folksy phrases, too. "Heavens to Betsy," he said earlier this month when remarking on Republicans' failure to reinstate the assault weapons ban.

I also find it funny that the only reference to his complete bomb appearance on Letterman comes in the very last line of the article.

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Papacy vs. Presidency


This book sounds interesting.

The book is a collection of essays that focus on different aspects of the presidency of the United States (where "political power is manifested in a pure state") and of the spiritual authority represented by John Paul II.

The work also addresses issues of "Sex, Marriage, and Law," "Culture and University," and "Conscience and the Law," which the author explains in this interview with the Spanish news agency Veritas.

The link is to a transcript of the interview.

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I got up, hopped on my bike and rode to work. That was my first mistake. It was COOOOLD yesterday A.M. I got to work and defrosted, and then proceeded to get slammed. Yesterday was the first day after quarter-end for my company's fiscal year. This day is also known as the Day of Reckoning, 'cuz that's what I do. All day. I reckon. I finally got out of work and rode home. Now it was in the high 70s and I was sweltering in a long-sleeved shirt.

I got home, and my blessed wife had dinner ready because I had 10 minutes to eat and then grab my books to run off to my class which is every bit as exciting as its title: "Principles of Income Taxation, Part 1," where my teacher - an ancient man about whom everything you need to know is summed up in his email address: ol_bud at kingothehill dot something or other - laments over how the IRS has taken all of the fun out of avoiding your income taxes. The good news is I got an A on the first test!

This class lasts from 6 - 10. Mercifully, we got out a bit before 9:30, so I could come home and at least spend a few minutes with the family before going to bed, so I can wake up today and do it all over again, this time with a class every bit as exciting as its title: "Introduction to Managerial Accounting."

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Speaking of my boy!


Was I? I don't think so.


Here's a picture of the baptismal gown I mentioned below. Ain't it a beaut?

Baptismal Gown.JPG

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Losing her KOOL

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Speaking of Lisa Madigan, as I did several posts down, another crusade of hers that ticks me off is her lawsuit against Kool cigarettes manufacturer Brown and Williamson for allegedly targeting youths with their hip-hop cigarettes.

She has a coalition of African-American and anti-smoking advocates arrayed on her side to protest the cigarettes as well as Brown and Willamson's sponsorship of a DJ contest on the north side.

This is all well and good. Certainly nobody should be marketing cigarettes to children. But the big question here is: why aren't these people at least as equally outraged at the mass-marketing of hip-hop to children?

These people gathered outside of a building where vulgar, sex-soaked music that advocates alcohol, drug use and violence towards men, women and children of all races is being marketed to young minorities and all they care about is the possibility that somebody might take up smoking? Give me a break.

Here's a gem from Chicago's most embarrassing pastor that sums it up:

We want to make it clear to them that we will not sit back and let Brown and Williamson or any other tobacco company, first of all, pervert true hip-hop -- this is not what hip-hop is about. Nor will we stand back and let them line their pockets over the dead bodies of our children," Michael Pfleger, parish priest of St. Sabina Catholic Church, told WLS-TV.

What on earth does he mean by "true hip-hop?" Maybe back in 1979 hip-hop was about cultural expression in such benign forms as graffiti, rapping, break-dancing and mixing (yes, I know the four elements - I know a lot more about hip-hop from days long past), but 25 years later, let's face the facts.

I have no doubt that these people really care about protecting children [except for Lisa Madigan - she's a glory hound whose daddy (Illinois House speaker Michael Madigan) revved up the whole power of the state Democrat machine to get her elected], but they are so incredibly wrong to protest a cigarette manufacturer instead of, say BET, MTV, Def Jam records or Jive or any of the other labels that daily exploit kids with a product that is far more destructive on an individual or societal level than all the tobacco in Virginia ever could be.

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Feast of St. Matthew



If you stop by today, won't you please say a prayer for my little guy?


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For all of you "Rathergate" followers


I must admit to not caring too much. It really just confirms what is already obvious about the media. But I do have a story to tell. On my way home from class last night, WGN had three big-shot Chicago journalists talking about the scandal. The host asked them how something like this could happen. Not one of them seemed to entertain the hypothesis that CBS and Rather were frothing at the mouth at the prospect of nailing Bush with the story and so ended up tripping over their own partisanhip. One of them actually blamed Rathergate on Fox News!.

OK. No more politics.

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Speaking of Obama


Face it people, he's going to be our next senator.

Due to Alan Keyes' inability to say anything that makes sense to voters who are trained to listen to slogans and sound bytes, there's no way Obama will get less than 75% of the vote.

This is of course, too bad, because Keyes seems to be one of the few politicians who speaks intelligently and honestly about applying moral principles to public life. But then again, we get the public officials we deserve. If an allegedly Christian population can't comprehend that Jesus probably wouldn't vote for a pro-abortion candidate, what do we expect?

On the other hand, Keyes kind of weirds me out. I watched his cable show a couple of times, and I could never get past his creepy grin. No matter what he was saying, his mouth was stuck in a smile.

Also, with regards to the "Jesus wouldn't vote for Obama" comment, if you're going to use money and time to run for public office, you should at least try to tailor your message to the people who are voting. I'm not talking about lying, I'm not talking about smearing your opponent, I'm talking about not saying things that are going to strike fear in the hearts of an over-educated elite and go over the heads of a proletariat that lacks a vocabulary of principled citizenship.

Keyes' only hope lies in the debates, but it's a tenuous hope. He will undoubtedly shred Obama, but runs a risk of getting himself into trouble, especially with a Chicago media just looking for soundbytes to distort and amplify.

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Rolling in his grave


This year's Loyola University St. Robert Bellarmine award goes to Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan, who opposes medical care for infants born alive after botched abortions.

I think if the good Cardinal were with us, she would have some 'splaining to do.

By the way, Illinois' darling, future Senator Obama opposed the same bill.

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CCD is up and running now. We had our second class of the year on Sunday.

First we were commissioned at the 9:30 Mass where we got to stand up and profess our adherence to Church teaching. I was soooooo tempted to end by uttering just loud enough to be heard: "It moves."

We got to our classroom, and it had been overrun by a bunch of Brownie scouts due to a scheduling confusion, so we got bumped. As I was wandering up and down the hall with one of our students looking for our new classroom, we passed the gym where coffee and doughnuts is held after Mass. I jokingy lamented that I was going to miss out on my morning coffee, an she responded, "Oooohhh nooo!! My mom is always CRABBY when she doesn't have her coffee." This was enough to make me have to stifle a chuckle, but she continued. "OOOHHH. THAT'S must be why she's been so crabby lately! She's pregnant and can't have any coffee!"

CCD was rather uneventful, but I must say that having a baby is a great prop. He was our priest last week when we were teaching the children how to greet the priests when they walk into the room. This week he was my example of handing Church teaching on from generation to generation. If you teach CCD, I highly recommend having a child (they also have many other useful functions, such as providing a ready-made excuse for bowing out of social obligations, making bowel movements acceptable and even intelligent dinner conversation and bringing constant joy to an already full life).

One more thing: the head coach for the university women's basketball team is co-teaching 7th grade in our parish. She saw our DRE's appeal for help in the bulletin and decided that even thugh they practice or have games every Sunday, she could sacrifice some time and help out. The next time someone complains about being too busy to help at Church tell them this and then knock them on the head.

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Prayer Request

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Would you all please pray for the repose of the soul and for the family of a girl named Meaghan, who passed away on Monday. She was born with a malfunctioning heart, and the doctors never thought she'd make it 19 months. Well, she lived to be 19 years old, and passed away after an attempted heart transplant. She's the daughter of one of the managers where I work, and the whole office is pretty shaken up. I've only been here a short time, but there are people here who've known Meaghan since birth. She's touched the lives of many people, and now she's gone.

The week before her transplant she cleared out her bank accounts to give to charity and asked her father, "Do you think it's OK if I keep 20 dollars?" Amazing.

(This is why work has been tense this week, for those of you read the post below.)

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Step by step


Here I am.

I've decided the only way I can possibly get back into things here is to use my morning time. So we'll give it a shot.

First a few pics to satisfy those ravenous folk who keep telling me to post more:
Here's Matthew at his Baptism on July 18th:

Here's one of his baptismal gown, whice I wish you could see better. This gown was the same one worn by my wife and all of her siblings at their Baptisms:
Speaking of Baptisms, we liked it so much we joined our parish's committee. Well, that's not entirely accurate, but we are on the committee. That makes us a little more busy, but it's a good kind of busy. When it comes to evangelization, I'm of the "grab where you can" school of thought, and for many Catholics, Baptism is the only stop at Church besides weddings and funerals. Most importantly, however, I think it's so important for the children that the parents fully understand the responsibilities they assume by presenting their child for Baptism.

After the Baptism, we had weddings on two consecutive weekends. Jenny was Matron of Honor (I can only think of The Philadelphia Story when I hear that title) for Monika and Kevin's wedding in Glenview, and then the next weekend, I was a groomsman in Brian and Kim's wedding in Glenview.

Here's one of our favorite pics - Matthew with Uncy Larry just before Monika's wedding:
Yes, Ladies, they are both single!

Here's one of Matthew and me in our tuxes at Brian's wedding:


(You might be able to see the tux bib better if Matthew weren't chewing on it.)

Both weddings were absolutely beautiful, though I will have to post the details of our trip to Minneapolis sometime soon.

The next big event was our anniversary, which was on the 16th (props to Rosie and Monika for remembering). Here's the top layer of our cake, which we ate as per tradition:

We also dined at Radio Maria, which is walking distance from our new apartment. It was Matthew's first dining out experience with us, and he was very good!

As for current happenings, work is going great, but things are a little tense this week. I started school on the 23rd of August, and I'm taking classes with such exciting names as "Managerial Accounting" and "Principles of Income Taxation Part One." If you ask me, the fact that it takes two classes to teach these principles means the tax code is too d*** complex, but maybe that's just my opinion.

We started CCD last week, so there goes Sunday mornings until May. It went pretty well, however, and we have a better game plan this year than last year (I think that's how experience is supposed to work).

Finally, my wife is all that. She has taken the mess that was our apartment for the first month - after we moved and while all the craziness was going on - and made it into a home. Little by little, room by room, she has transformed the place. She's currently working on making curtains.

Now that this post is over with, I look forward to writing some real posts, not just "Here's why I've been too busy to blog posts."

And of course, to close, here's what you all really want: more pictures!

Matthew practicing his wind-up:

Four generations during Labor Day:

Proof that I can change diapers:

I call this one: "LOOK HOW HUGE MY KID IS!"

This is his headshot, you can order autographed copies by mail:

That's all for now. More pics can be found here.

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Mama-Lu's Etsy Shop

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This page is an archive of entries from September 2004 listed from newest to oldest.

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