How remiss...

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...of me not to comment on last week's events which occured at Comiskey US Cellular Field.

For those of you who don't know, US Cellular Field is a baseball stadium of the south side of Chicago. I know some of you might be confused as to why there are two stadiums in Chicago, when the Cubs already have beautiful, historic Wrigley Field in which to play. Well, you might be surprised to find out that there are actually two major league baseball teams in Chicago. US Cellular FIeld is home to the Chicago White Sux Sox. Don't feel bad if you've never heard of the Sux Sox, they're hardly a real baseball team. They play ball in the American League, home of terrible pitching and the designated hitter, as well as of the Detroit Tigers.

I know that introduction was unnecessary because many of you heard about this team last week when a Sux Sox fan ran out onto the field and attacked an umpire. First of all, let me explain why the Sux Sox have fans. They're not fans in the traditional sense of people who root for a team they like. No, Sux Sox fans are fans more in the soccer-hooligan sense of people who are attracted to gatherings involving lots of liquor to drink and lots of strangers to start fights with. In fact, just last season, a father and son pair of Sux Sox fans ran out onto the field and in true macho fashion attacked the 60 year old 1st base coach of the Kansas City Royals. As you can see from this empirical evidence, being a Sux Sox fan is highly correlated with a genetic predisposition for violence.

Anyway, for any psychopaths reading this who now feel like maybe you have what it takes to be a Sux Sox fan, let me warn you, this is what can happen to you:

The man who attacked first base umpire Laz Diaz sits handcuffed in a Chicago police car.

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Come on now Cuz, you shouldn't judge all Sox fans by the actions of a few ignorant people! You want to talk about soccer hooligan-like fans? When was the last time you had the pleasure/misfortune of sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley?

Haha, I wondered if you would find this.

Yeah, yeah, I know, drunken yuppies are no better than what you find on the south side.

Looks like you're going to get the last laugh this year anyway, so indulge me.

Happy belated.

Thanks! As for the South Side (non)Hitmen, it's a long season. I'd like to get excited but it seems as though at the moment they're doing it with smoke and mirrors. We'll see if the pitching holds up. Most real fans I know are waiting for the rug to be swept from under our feet.


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This page contains a single entry by Papa-Lu published on April 23, 2003 6:42 PM.

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